So at one point someone suggested we start a list of words used in fanfiction to describe genitals. After a particularly great Twilight fic was submitted, I decided to start that list, and Im providing what the phrase is describing. It will be updated as more words and phrases are found. And feel free to submit ones you’ve heard :3
Also check out the lube list!
The most striking view I was indoctrinated with was that sex is something women “have,” but that they shouldn’t “give it away” too soon -– as though there’s only so much sex in any one woman, and sex is something she does for a man that necessarily requires losing something of herself, and so she should be really careful who she “gives” it to.
The prevailing societal brainwashing dictates that sexuality and sex “reduce” women, whereas men are merely innocent actors on the receiving end. By extension, our virginity or abstinence has a bearing on who we are as people — as good people or bad people, as nice women or bad women.
Women’s ability to be moral actors is wholly dependent on their sexuality. It is, honestly, insane.
The virgin-whore dichotomy is an insidious standard that we have unfairly placed upon women. Women are supposed to be outwardly pure and modest, while at the same time being sexually alluring and available. If a woman does not have sex after a date, she will be labeled as a prude. If she does have sex, she will be referred to later as a ho or a slut.
Society thus sets up a norm in which women simply cannot win."
This is exactly what I was taught as a young person.
This is really important to me. I just got out of an abusive relationship and I hope that no one ever has to feel like I did.
You’re getting two messages from the culture about sex: one is, sex is SO IMPORTANT that you should only ever do it with *one person* all your life, that you *must* be monogamous. And the other message that the culture sends you is that sex is so UNIMPORTANT that you’re not allowed to take it into consideration when you’re picking a life partner. That there’s something *base* about you, or *animal-ish* about you, if you look at somebody and just think, whatever else they bring to the table, however much I *like* them, however wonderful our rapport is, however much I enjoy spending time with this person, however much we’re on the same page about finances and children and all this other stuff… you are not allowed to put sex on the scales and say, ‘Is the sex good? Do we want the same things? Do we enjoy the same things?’ Because if you weigh that, if you give that the same importance that you give all of these other considerations, then you’re somehow *over*emphasizing the importance of sex. You’re some kind of sex-crazed monster!
You have to take sex into consideration. *Particularly* in a sexually exclusive relationship. Particularly if you want monogamy."
— Dav Savage, Savage Lovecast
My thesis project, Dom & Sub, a.k.a. why I’ve been such a bad tumblr-er/bad friend/etc. My artist statement:
Dom & Sub is a body of illustrative work in digital media that attempts to humanize practitioners of BDSM and offer a representation of kinky sex that not only refutes negative stereotypes but informs the audience that sadomasochistic play is done best between happy, healthy, and consenting adults. I portrayed the couple in the work not only engaging in S&M play but also building a “scene” together and nurturing one another after the play has concluded; these are moments often left unconsidered or completely ignored in visual representations of S&M. I believe it’s important to see how kinky scenes are crafted with care, commitment to safety and enthusiastic consent in order to limit those times when sadomasochistic play is used to abuse or dehumanize other human beings. It is my hope that my audience will learn from the illustrations that sadomasochistic play is not always dark or scary, and that fellow ‘kinksters’ can enjoy tender representations of S&M that do not ridicule or pathologize them. I’ve designed the work to engage sadomasochistic imagery, material and theory with an ethical conscience.
this is beautiful in several ways.
Hannah Gadsby on rape culture (x)
How to make a joke involving rape
mock rape culture (aka bring awareness), NOT the victim
8 Positions for Sex at Your Parents’ Place [Click to continue reading]
Don’t wake up the family. They have a big day at the Home Depot tomorrow.
Perfect timing since I’m at my mom’s house with my partner this weekend!