eddyizm-deactivated20131128

Jon Stewart and Kristen Schaal give examples of how Republicans can link abortions to just about any program they want to de-fund.

  • KRISTEN: Our taxes are going to abortions in ways no one is even talking about.
  • JON: Well, let's talk about it now. How?
  • KRISTEN: Well, for starters, we have to cut funding for fire departments.
  • JON: Why would that be?
  • KRISTEN: Helllloooo? What if an abortion clinic catches fire, and firefighters put it out, paving the way for more abortions? Abortionist firefighters, paid for with our taxpayer dollars.
  • JON: Well that's like saying we need to de-fund the Coast Guard because abortion providers go to the beach.
  • KRISTEN: I hadn't even thought of that. But you're right -- no more Coast Guard! Give me another. This is fun.
  • JON: F.A.A.
  • KRISTEN: Mile-High Club. Number one cause of unwanted pregnancies between Newark and LAX.
  • JON: Mining Safety Commission.
  • KRISTEN: Mile-BELOW Club.
  • JON: Library of Congress.
  • KRISTEN: Sexy librarians.
  • JON: NASA.
  • KRISTEN: Space abortions!
  • JON: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
  • KRISTEN: Jon, please. I'm getting pregnant just listening to you.
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