Jon Stewart and Kristen Schaal give examples of how Republicans can link abortions to just about any program they want to de-fund.

  • KRISTEN: Our taxes are going to abortions in ways no one is even talking about.
  • JON: Well, let's talk about it now. How?
  • KRISTEN: Well, for starters, we have to cut funding for fire departments.
  • JON: Why would that be?
  • KRISTEN: Helllloooo? What if an abortion clinic catches fire, and firefighters put it out, paving the way for more abortions? Abortionist firefighters, paid for with our taxpayer dollars.
  • JON: Well that's like saying we need to de-fund the Coast Guard because abortion providers go to the beach.
  • KRISTEN: I hadn't even thought of that. But you're right -- no more Coast Guard! Give me another. This is fun.
  • JON: F.A.A.
  • KRISTEN: Mile-High Club. Number one cause of unwanted pregnancies between Newark and LAX.
  • JON: Mining Safety Commission.
  • KRISTEN: Mile-BELOW Club.
  • JON: Library of Congress.
  • KRISTEN: Sexy librarians.
  • JON: NASA.
  • KRISTEN: Space abortions!
  • JON: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
  • KRISTEN: Jon, please. I'm getting pregnant just listening to you.
  1. mellowroseflows reblogged this from funkmasteralex
  2. helplesswhenitcomestoyou reblogged this from fullmetaling
  3. fullmetaling reblogged this from funkmasteralex
  4. funkmasteralex reblogged this from funkmasteralex
  5. themonstersthativebeen reblogged this from standupforwomen
  6. stermateriaal reblogged this from bathyal
  7. nosestuckinabook reblogged this from pacingsidewalks
  8. precociouselephant reblogged this from weirdlulls
  9. mellonikan reblogged this from misohead
  10. misohead reblogged this from dreamiermaalik
  11. stheno reblogged this from pseudo-tsuga
  12. muffxranger reblogged this from grayskull
  13. ohezrah reblogged this from owlsemen
  14. maureenmargaret reblogged this from queen-of-evrything
  15. queen-of-evrything reblogged this from grayskull
  16. youcanalwayshavemorethannothing reblogged this from whodreamedthedream
  17. wattleandgum reblogged this from firelordrita
  18. worsethanqueer reblogged this from lostgrrrls
  19. shiny-coco reblogged this from alcoholicgifts